


Secrets

by eyrk



Series: Project ORACLE [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-22 06:52:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2498630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyrk/pseuds/eyrk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SEQUEL TO BREAK. Canon divergence after end of S2. Felicity and Oliver are starting their journey as a couple as they deal with the Justice League, Felicity's new job at her firm, and Arrow life. But Felicity's secret search to find out more about her father's life may lead them straight to trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_September 1991_

            Felicity Meghan Smoak burrows underneath the covers and squeals when someone pulls it down slightly to uncover her eyes and nose. She looks up at green eyes and sticks her small hand out towards her father.

            He flashes a wicked grin before he plunges to tickle her as she laughs.

            “Daddy!”

            Darren Smoak chuckles as he stops, his glasses a little crooked from the action. Then he leans over to kiss her on the forehead.

            “Time to sleep, Felicity,” he says, placing the covers around her again. Felicity sighs as she rests her head against the pillow and then reaches out to fix her father’s black rimmed glasses.

            She giggles before she tugs them off from his face and wears them. Her head goes a little dizzy from the prescription and everything looks blurry.

            Darren smiles.

            “They look good on you,” he says but then gently lifts them off of her, “but your head will hurt if you put them on for too long.”

            When they settle back onto his face, Felicity pauses before bursting out, “Tell me a story about the princess!”

            The warmth in her father’s eyes makes her want to snuggle even further into her blankets as he looks up at her ceiling as if he’s racking his brain for the right story.

            “You mean the one about where the princess slays the dragon?”

            “Yes, please!” she exclaims.

            He sighs and glances at the clock. He then looks over his shoulder before he turns to her again to put a finger on his lips.

            “As long as you don’t tell Mommy. I’m not supposed to keep you up this late,” he grins.

            “Promise,” she whispers quite seriously.

            Darren Smoak clears his throat and starts his story.

            “Once upon a time, there was a young girl in a small village. She was young, beautiful, and most importantly, intelligent. A prince rode in through town one day and fell in love with her. He married her and she became a princess…”

 

 

_Present Day_

 

            Felicity shoots up in her bed, short of breath and her eyes wide. Without her glasses and in the dark, she can barely make out the moonlight shining through the cracks of her curtains. So when she feels rustling on the bed beside her, she almost lets out a shriek.

            “Hey, it’s me,” Oliver whispers as he sits up, eyes completely aware and awake.

            The memories of only a few hours before come rushing back as she places a hand on his bare shoulder, somewhat in a daze.

            “You’re here,” she murmurs.

            Felicity feels her hair being gently swept away as Oliver touches her cheek. It’s only when she feels his calloused fingers that she realizes that there are tears rolling down her face.

            “Why didn’t you tell me that you’re still having nightmares?” he asks quietly as he drops his hand.

            She gives him a shaky grin and shrugs. She doesn’t know how to explain the terror that seizes her as soon as she awakes – even as the details of the dream slip away so quickly. But with Oliver, she knows that she doesn’t have to explain – that he understands the feeling all too well.

            So why didn’t she tell him?

            “Things are good right now. With Starling City. With – with –“ she hesitates towards the end.

            “With us,” Oliver finishes for her, grabbing her hand.

            Felicity looks down, the cool air causing goosebumps along her uncovered pale skin. Biting her bottom lip, she brings the covers up around her – partly because she’s cold, and partly because she’s only just slept with Oliver for the first time … three hours ago.

            There’s a difference between him seeing her naked in the heat of sex and him just seeing her… naked.

            Oliver’s intense eyes falter with the movement of her covers but soon they soften as he notes her slight shiver. He pulls up the blanket to cover her shoulder.

            “Things _are_ …good with us, right?” he asks.

            Felicity grabs his hand, forcing him to look into her eyes again.

            “We’re good. We’re more than good,” she says.

            Then she leans in and kisses him deep, taking in his hot breath and his slight gasp of surprise. He grabs her by the arms to pull her in but then stops midway. Oliver leans back, breathes out before he closes his eyes. When he opens them again, there is kindness in them.

            “Are you okay? Was it about your father?” he asks.

            Felicity looks at him for a second and then sighs.

            “Yes. No. I don’t know. I don’t always remember. I just remember the –” she stops.

            “Remember what?” he presses.

            “The blood,” Felicity says.

           

            Oliver holds onto her tight until she falls back asleep.

 

 

            Felicity hands him a mug of coffee, unashamed of the black and white spots on the ceramic and the cow’s head sticking out from the side opposite the handle. Oliver grins as he takes it and sips from it.

            “Thanks,” he says.

            “Mmhm,” she murmurs as she pours more coffee into her thermos. Her phone goes off, causing her fingers to slip and the coffee spills onto her counter. She hisses as she grabs a towel hanging from the oven handle, “Crap.”

            Oliver glances down at her phone and says, “It’s Barbara.”

            “Of course it is,” Felicity says while wiping down the counter. She smiles her thanks when Oliver drops the phone into her hand. She picks up.

            “What? What exactly do you need at –” she turns to look at the clock on her stove, “6:17 AM?”

            “Well, good morning to you too, Smoak,” Gordon replies with a slight sniff. Felicity raises her eyebrow at the sound.

            “Are you…sick?” she asks after tossing the towel near the side of her sink. She turns around to be met by Oliver with a plate of a toast in his hand. He tilts it towards her for an easy reach.

            Felicity grabs the toast and whispers, “Thank you.”

            “No, it’s just allergies,” Gordon denies and Felicity rolls her eyes.

            “Right. So why are you calling?” she asks, chomping down on the toast, not even bothering to cover the mouthpiece of the phone.

            “It’s Palmer. Ray Palmer. He wants us inside Queen Consolidated and develop new software for them,” Gordon says.

            Felicity stops chewing and promptly swallows.

            “Oh.”

            “It’s good business. I mean, I know things are complicated with Queen and the company, but –”

            “How long?” Felicity interrupts, ignoring Oliver’s stare.

            “The whole project will take about six months. Maybe more. Listen, Smoak. Oracle needs this project. _I_ need you there.”

            “No, I get it. That’s fine. I’ll do it,” Felicity replies finally meeting Oliver’s eyes. He frowns and puts down the plate before crossing his arms.

            “Really?” Gordon says, the surprise in her voice plain and clear.

            Felicity sighs and rolls her eyes at her boss once more.

            “Yes, really. The appointment is today?… Okay. Got it. Don’t worry, Gordon. I will. Okay, bye.”

            Once she hangs up, she looks up at Oliver.

            “What’s going on?” he asks, somewhat sternly.

            In the past month or two, every time Felicity received a call from Gordon, Oliver would get tense as if he was bracing himself for what was to come. Sometimes it was Oracle business and sometimes it was about minor missions or recruitments for the Justice League. It was usually the Justice League bit that made him stiffen up.

            Felicity taps on the counter and scratches her temple with another sigh.

            “Ray Palmer hired Oracle Systems to develop software for Queen Consolidated,” she says.

            Felicity looks up warily, but he seems rather calm as he uncrosses his arms.

            “I’ll be at QC for six months. Maybe more,” she continues.

            After the company chose Palmer over Oliver, Oliver stuck with his nightclub manager job and while it didn’t seem to bother him all too much, she still treaded carefully on the subject.

            “This is a good thing, right? I mean, QC’s a big client,” he says, taking another sip of his coffee. Felicity doesn’t say anything and Oliver grins as he puts his mug down on the counter.

            He steps in closer to place his hand on her shoulder.

            “Felicity, this is going to be great for your firm. For you. I’m excited for you.”

            Felicity just looks at him, shakes her head, and smiles. Then she gets on her tippy toes to give him a peck on his cheek. When she’s back on her heels, Oliver holds onto her arms.

            “I know we – last night, we – this is nice. I mean, breakfast is nice, us having breakfast together, here, and –” Oliver takes a breath and chuckles to himself as he rubs his face. “God. Sorry.”

            “I like it too,” Felicity says softly. “Breakfast with you.”

            “But what about dinner? Do you like dinner?” Oliver asks abruptly and his face crumples in exasperation the second the words are out of his mouth.

            She crinkles her nose and nods. “I…like eating dinner. I’m all about the three meals a day…thing.”

            They stare at each other and both break out into smiles at the same time. After a moment, Oliver takes a breath.

            “Let’s try this again. We’ve never actually gone on a date…and I want to change that. Would you have dinner with me, Felicity? Tonight?”

            She somehow keeps herself from yelling, “Yes!” in the middle of his question and when he finally finishes talking, Felicity gives him another smile.

            “Yes, I would love to,” she says.

            “Great. I should probably get going, and let you get ready. Um, this was – I mean –” Oliver gives up and sighs. After a moment’s hesitation, he leans down and gives her a chaste kiss before making his way out of the kitchen. “See you tonight.”

            Felicity leans back on the counter and looks up at the ceiling to let out a long breath.

            When Oliver pops his head back in, she quickly straightens up.

            “What kind of food – we didn’t choose a place –”

            “I like Italian. You can text me the details later,” Felicity replies, her eyes bright and somewhat teasing.

            “Right. Everybody loves Italian,” he mumbles and then smiles. “So I guess…it’s a date.”

            “I guess so,” Felicity grins back.

 

 

            It’s odd to see the taller silhouette of Ray Palmer through the glass pane of the CEO office, but she walks in, head held high. She clears her throat and Palmer turns away from the window to the outside world to greet her with a wide smile.

            “You must be Miss Smoak,” he says warmly. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

            Felicity arches her eyebrow at this and he stops short.

            “I mean, good things. All good things. From both Barbara Gordon and the QC executives.”

            She gives him a small smile and tilts her head. “I only half believe you.”

            Then she sticks her hand out. “You can just call me Felicity, Mr. Palmer.”

            Palmer shakes her hand with a smile as well. “Ray.”

            When he lets go of her hand, he waves towards the outside of his office. “I’d give you a tour, but…”

            She nods. “Right, let’s get to it.”

            Palmer gestures at a chair before he walks around the desk to sit behind it. She swallows at the ease of which he settles into the position as if he’s done it day after day, but she sits down as well.

            “We need new software. Badly. QC, while a great company, is big, clunky, and slow. And BTW, I’ve seen what you tried to do while you were down in the IT department and it’s great stuff. It’s a shame that you were wasted as Mr. Queen’s EA, but we have you now. We can streamline, make things user friendly, connect to the markets faster – and I need Oracle Systems. I can’t do this on my own,” he says and then pauses. Palmer looks down at his desk. “I’m sorry, I…tend to get carried away. I just mean, I would really appreciate this partnership.”

            “Don’t be sorry. I understand,” Felicity says, relaxing slightly. The way the man leans in with his eyes wide and bright reminds her of Barry….and strangely enough, Gordon. Palmer seems to be a mix of the two, which to Felicity, is one hell of a scary thought. But the familiarity brings her guard down – _slightly_. After all, getting Oliver to attend any meeting was no small feat and while she didn’t exactly use her MIT degree, she likes to think that as an executive assistant, she learned a lot – about people.

            Not exactly a waste.

            Palmer raises his gaze and smiles again.

            “I’m looking forward to working with you, Miss Smoak. Felicity.”

            She adjusts her glasses slightly and grins. “Likewise.”

 

 

            “So?” Gordon asks as soon as the doors to Felicity’s office open. She wheels in to the large open area and parks herself in front of her desk with a glint of impatience in her eyes.

            Felicity rolls her eyes and switches off the tablet before placing it back on her desk.

            “Why did I meet with Ray if you’re here in Starling City? When did you get here?”

            Gordon shrugs. “The last few months have shown me that you’re the better people person out of the two of us. Besides, you’re the one who’s going to be running point on this. I’m only here a few times a month. But that’s not the point – so? How did it go?”

            Felicity leans back in her chair and taps on her armrest with her pen.

            “It went…well. He said he’s excited about this partnership. He’s actually…not too bad.”

            Her boss smirks. “I’m glad you’re good with billionaires. It’s a special talent of yours.”

            “Not all billionaires. Speaking of which, how did _it_ go?” she responds, leaning in with a slight frown. Gordon brushes her hair away from her eyes, sniffs, and clears her throat before sighing.

            “Bruce and Allen couldn’t find anything at the warehouse that traced back to Luthor. It was abandoned and we won’t know until we find out more. Smoak, I know this is hard to hear, but I don’t think these recent bank and security hackings are related to him.”

            Felicity says nothing.

            “Hey. We’ll find him. You and me,” Gordon says, her eyes softening.

            She ignores the lump in her throat and smiles. “I know.”

            They break eye contact when both of their watches beep and look down at the GPS coordinates that pop open on the glass. Then a string of words follows: _Trap. Help. Please don’t tell me you told me so._

            “Goddammit, Hal,” Gordon mutters as soon as Felicity pulls out her phone.

            “Who do you want on it? Can we please send in Diana?” she grins with her finger posed over the picture of Wonder Woman’s face.

            Gordon smirks.

            “Do it.”

 

 

            She adjusts the bottom of her dress before standing straight up again to face the mirror, her face a tad bit flushed. She takes in a deep breath and whispers, “You’ve had sex with this man. You’ve seen him naked. A first date? This is not a big deal.”

            This only serves to make her face even redder and Felicity groans before leaving the restroom to get back to her seat. When she settles in, she crosses her legs and then after a few seconds, uncrosses them. The chatter underneath the dim lights, the clinking of wine glasses, and the sound of chairs scraping back against the floor keeps her grounded when she looks up to see Oliver standing there a few feet away – staring at her.

            Felicity opens her mouth slightly as she rises. He shakes out of his reverie before he strides towards her to give her a slightly awkward embrace.

            “Hey,” he murmurs in her ear before pulling back.

            His voice reminds her of who he is and she smiles.

            “Hi.”

            When they take their seats, Oliver lets out a chuckle and she immediately looks up.

            “What?”

            “Nothing, I’m just –”

            “Nervous?” she blurts out, immediately wishing she could keep her mouth shut for more than two seconds. He grins at her warmly.

            “Yeah. I don’t even know why we’re so nervous. It’s…it’s been a long time coming.”

            “Maybe that’s why. We know everything about each other. I mean, I’ve already seen you shirtless. Multiples times, I mean! Not just when we – just shirtless. All the time.”

            She thanks the stars when the waiter comes with a glass of water and stares down at the table, willing the earth to swallow her whole. Oliver reaches across to gently place his hand over hers. When she looks back up at him, he squeezes her hand.

            “I’m sorry that it took this long,” he says softly.

            She takes a breath before she replies, “We both needed to be ready.”

            They sit there in silence for a few seconds before Oliver pulls his hand back and grins again.

            “I’m sure there are still some things we don’t know about each other,” he says more lightly.

            She leans forward.

            “Like?”

            He pauses and glances down at his empty plate. “I wasn’t on the island the entire time during those five years.”

            Felicity had surmised as much but hearing it from Oliver, makes her realize how much he trusts her. This realization ties her stomach up in knots for some reason.

            “I thought so. So where were you?” she asks, not skipping a beat, hoping to give him ease.

            “Hong Kong, for one. I – I’ve been thinking a lot of my time there and sorry – I’m a bit out of my element.”

            His eyes darken as he pulls the memories out and she wishes that she could carry some of them for him. But she can’t, so she waits as he struggles to get the words out.

            “The entire time I was gone, I could never completely trust someone. And when that goes on for so long, you stop seeing people as people. You see them as threats,” Oliver then looks up at her. “Then I walked into your office and you were the first person I could see as a…person. There was just something about you.”

            She chuckles, feeling a flush go up her neck again. She dips her head to allow her curls to hide some of her face.

            “Yeah, I was chewing on a pen.”

            Felicity hears the smile in his voice as he says, “It was red.”

            The thought of him remembering the color of her pen hits her in the gut and she bites her bottom lip. Something inside of her makes her tremble and she wonders if it’s the Benzos she took. Felicity stands up, still not raising her eyes to meet his, but hears his chair scrape back.

            “S-sorry. I just –”

            She feels his hand on her arm and she looks up to see his concern.

            “You okay? Did I say something?” he asks quietly.

            Felicity gives him a watery smile.

            “Yeah, I’m good. Really good. I just need to use the restroom. Sorry,” she whispers. The concern doesn’t leave his eyes but he lets go of her.

            She rushes to the restroom, leaving Oliver in her wake. When she gets there, she splashes some cool water on her neck and takes a few deep breaths.

            He loves her. Felicity can remember down to the last detail of their first meeting and it’s only because she’s been in love with him for so long. So, he loves her. Not that this is anything new, but it’s this little thing that cements it for her.

            Which is why she’s having a mini freak out, in the girls’ room, in the middle of her first date – with the man she loves, who’s saved her life more than once.

            “Stupid,” Felicity mutters, ignoring another patron glancing at her from the next sink.

            With a wide smile, Felicity strides back out to see him – to tell him –

            She freezes. Something’s wrong.

            Her date is up from his chair, almost jumping towards her, his eyes all…Arrowy. She wants to reach out for him, but he’s too far away. The wild look on his face tells her that he’s not going to get to her in time. In time for whatever it is.

            So she braces herself just as the restaurant explodes.

 

 

            Felicity coughs as she regains consciousness. She moans as she lifts her head but she can barely see through the smoke.

            “Oliv-” she coughs out while getting onto her fours. Her ears ring and it makes it hard for her to gain some balance. As she crawls towards where she remembers seeing Oliver last, only a few feet away, she cuts her hands across glass and splintered wood.

            But she hopes to God that she doesn’t come across a dead body. His dead body.

            When Felicity finds the Arrow, he’s limp, which makes her panic until she finds his steady pulse.

            “Oliver, wake up,” she whispers, brushing his hair back from his forehead.

            With some effort, she pulls herself up and presses down on the knob on her watch.

            “It’s going to be okay. They’re going to come, and they’re going to rescue us. We’re both going to be okay, so just stay with me,” Felicity mumbles.

            Exhausted, she then lies down next to him, burrowing her face into his side, and waits.

            When Clark arrives, she feels him gently pull her away from Oliver.

            “Felicity.”

            “I’m okay. We just need to get him out of here before the police come. He’s too heavy for me –” she croaks.

            Superman gives her a firm nod. “Got it.”

            When he has Oliver draped over his shoulder, he reaches out for her but she brushes him away.

            “It’s fine. Just take him to the foundry. Then come back. These people need you.”

            “Barry’s coming. Felicity, let me just – ”

            “Go!” she shouts as she hears the sirens from the distance.

            He glares at her before he takes off, his cape billowing out from behind him. After he’s gone, Felicity glances down at a woman who’s groaning a few feet away and makes her way towards her to help.

 

 

            Once Barry takes over, Felicity walks out into the alley of the restaurant to avoid the cops. She stumbles for a few steps and has to catch herself by holding onto the brick wall of the next door building.

            The sirens still ring in the background, but she can still hear soft steps from behind her. With a wary look, Felicity whirls around to find an elderly man, wizened and stooped low with a cane.

            “Are you alright? Were you in the restaurant? Here, let me help-” she steps closer to him with concern.

            “This is your warning,” he interrupts, his voice low and gravelly with age. He wheezes as she stares at him but his eyes remain cold.

            “What?” Felicity says.

            “You’ve been digging into your father’s history. That needs to stop. This –” he glances up at the burnt building. “-was your warning. Next time, your _friend_ won’t survive.”

            She curls her hands into fists as she clenches her teeth.

            “You did this? You _killed_ all these people –”

            He turns around with a crooked smile and starts to walk away slowly into the dark. Felicity tries to get her legs to move, but she’s too tired…too shocked.

            “Why?” she calls out to his retreating figure.

            But he doesn’t answer.

 

 

           

            Oliver nearly barrels into her, as she gets off the last few steps of the stairs, despite Diggle’s efforts to bring him back down to the med table. He grabs her by the arms to check for any serious injury and when he can’t find anything right away, he looks into her eyes with a glint of anger.

            “You told him to leave you there? What is the matter with you?” he says, his voice tight.

            “So you’re okay then, by the looks of it,” she replies with a small smile. She scans the room to give Diggle and Roy a more reassuring grin and when her eyes land back on Oliver, she says more seriously, “I’m fine.”

            Felicity ignores John’s frown and guides Oliver back to the table.

            “Rest.”

            But he still stands with gritted teeth.

            “Felicity.” Then he closes his eyes. “Barry just called. He found my bag. There were trackers on it. Whoever it was, they were gunning for me.”

            “Oliver, this wasn’t your fault,” John says before she can say the same thing. She feels relieved as the man embraces her and then sits her down in her chair. Oliver stares at them, his expression unreadable.

            She tries to speak up – that in fact, this was all _her_ fault, but as soon as she opens her mouth, she feels like she’s going to puke. So Felicity keeps her mouth shut, but the guilt spirals within her.

            So this is how Oliver feels all the time.

            “Hey,” Oliver whispers, cupping her cheek, breaking out of her thoughts. She blinks, wondering when he walked over. His frown makes her think that he knows that something is so utterly wrong but he just says, “I’m sorry.”

            Felicity needs him to be distracted, to not focus on her – the real state of her.

            So she cracks a smile, “I’ve had worse first dates.”

 

 

            His breaths slow down into a more steady rhythm and when she’s sure she’s not going to wake him, Felicity slowly tugs herself away from his grasp. She looks down at him for a moment before kissing his forehead, the action still a new experience.

            Then she quietly walks out of her bedroom and into the living room. She stares at the large painting hanging up on top of her fireplace and then closes her eyes.

            When she reopens them, Felicity carefully removes the painting from the wall and sets it down on the floor.

            The safe sits within the wall and she raises her arms to key in the passcode. With a click, the little metal door opens to reveal a small USB drive. Felicity grabs it and then takes it over to the kitchen counter after grabbing a high heel from the shoe shelf by her front door.

            Without knowing it, she holds her breath with the heel of the shoe high in the air aimed at the USB. She slams the heel down and the drive cracks, its contents forever gone.

            The little she found out about Darren Smoak – gone.

            A tear slides down her pale face and Felicity wipes it away, not noticing Oliver staring at her from the hallway. When she makes a move to turn off the light switch, he silently leans back from view.

            A choked sob breaks out of her but she quickly muffles it with her hands.

            She’s dying to find out why her father left, what happened to him.

            But she loves Oliver more.

            Felicity makes her way back to the bedroom and finds Oliver in bed, just the way she left him. She climbs in and snuggles up against him, wishing he’s awake to wrap his arms around her.

            So when she feels his muscular arms encircling her after a long while, Felicity smiles and closes her eyes to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

            The transporter rings zing her into the basement and she takes a moment to breathe in. She will never get used to that pull of her stomach and the way the world seems to spin as soon as her feet hit new ground.

            The basement is completely dark save for the lights from the computers and she’s not sure why she’s here. Felicity sinks into her chair and sighs.

            It’s been a few days after the explosion, and she still hasn’t told Oliver about the old man. After that night, Felicity got hit with a bunch of new projects from Queen Consolidated and had to deal with the fall out of the Green Lantern fiasco in Coast City. She was just barely able to function in the foundry for her team, running on … well, essentially no sleep. So really…there was no time to see him, let alone _talk_ to him about some crazy old guy who stopped her in a dark alleyway and told her to stop looking into her father’s past.  And…who, also, caused an explosion, hurting dozens of people, to make his point.

            Not that she’s trying to avoid Oliver, but that ache in her gut when she sees him isn’t going away.

            Felicity’s never lied to him before.

            People were hurt because of _her_. She has to tell him, and own up to the fact that this is all her fault.

            Oliver’s been running short on sleep as well, more than usual, with his club manager duties and his attempts to stem the flow of sudden mafia incidents in Starling City. His efforts to find the culprit of the explosion were curbed with the recent developments. She suspects that Oliver knows that something is wrong with her because he’s resorted back to sleeping on the cot in the foundry.

            Of course, she doesn’t remember the last time _she’s_ been in her apartment other than to quickly change outfits before going into QC, and he’s been incredibly busy as well. Besides it isn’t like they ever really talked about him staying at her place every night, or moving in, or-

            Moving in.

            That’s a weird thought.

            “ _God_ ,” Felicity moans and sinks her head into her arms on the desk. “Shut up.”

            The loud hum from the transporter rings nearly make her jump out of her chair and she quickly adjusts her hair and glasses.

            She relaxes when she sees Clark step out of the rings, but tilts her head when she sees him, not in his Superman suit, but in a wrinkled dress shirt and pants. His tie has been already tugged loose and his right shoulder drops underneath the strap of his bag.

            “What are you doing here?” Felicity asks, with an arch of an eyebrow.

            Clark drops his bag onto the floor and stretches his shoulder with tired eyes.

            “I didn’t think anyone would be here. I just needed some peace and quiet,” he says.

            She kicks over a chair and he flashes her a grateful grin as it rolls his way. When he takes his seat, he rubs his eyes and then fixes his glasses.

            “You can fly anywhere, to any rooftop in the world for some peace and quiet and you choose an abandoned Justice League headquarters. Why?” Felicity asks. When she sees him cast his eyes to the floor, she gives him a moment and looks down at the end of her ponytail. She starts twirling her hair with her finger and glances back at her friend as she awaits his answer.

            Clark lets out a small chuckle.

            “This may sound weird, but sometimes I feel more trapped in the sky,” he says quietly.

            “Huh,” she says thoughtfully.

            “Why are _you_ here?” Clark asks, shifting his body to focus on her.

            She swallows as the thought of Oliver and the old man rises up again.

            “Just needed to think,” Felicity replies and then clears her throat before patting her desk with some affection, “I miss this place. I mean, the Watchtower is amazing. How can it not be? It’s in _outer space_ , and Barry’s doing great work on it – but –”

            “It’s not the same,” Superman finishes for her when she loses her words.

            “Yeah. It’s just too much sometimes. Half the time, you trip over something because Barry and Gordon are working on God knows what and the toilets don’t work because it’s all still under construction, and promise you won’t tell anyone, but I sometimes get really freaked out when I see an asteroid through the windows – and – and I’m rambling. I’m sorry. It’s been a rough few days,” Felicity sighs, running her hand over her forehead and hair.

            “It’s alright. You don’t have to apologize,” Clark smiles.

            Felicity frowns.

            “Are you okay?” she asks.  

            He looks at her for a moment as his smile fades. He opens his mouth to say something but pauses. It’s only after she gives him a reassuring grin does he glide his glasses up his nose and answers.

            “There’s this woman.”

            Felicity leans back in her chair, crosses her legs, and her grin widens.

            “Ah.”

            He chuckles and shakes his head.

            “I work with her and she’s…”

            “She’s…?” Felicity presses.

            Clark breathes out and rubs his neck.

            “Driven. Determined to find out who Superman is, and she’s…”

            She recognizes the look in his eyes, the way he’s staring off into space as if he’s replaying a clip in his head.

            “Amazing?” she suggests.

            The fog breaks as he looks up at her startled. Then he breaks into a smile.

            “Yes. She is.”

            Felicity crosses her arms and smirks.

            “So what are you going to do about it?”

            He sighs and sways the chair from side to side.

            “She’s in love with Superman, not … this,” he gestures at himself.        

            Felicity frowns.

            “So tell her who you are.”

            Her words hang in the air as he rubs his eyes again and pinches the bridge of his nose. He then meets Felicity’s eyes and she closes her mouth.

            “And who is that exactly? I’m an _alien_ living as a human being on earth, Felicity. I don’t even know who I am, what I am. And yet, people think I’m this _hero_ ,” he says, his voice strained.

            “Clark.”

            He shuts his eyes at his name and hangs his head back.

            “I’m sorry. I’m just tired.”

            Felicity rolls her chair over so that she’s sitting closer to him. Her friend stares up at the ceiling but she knows that she still has his attention.

            “Do you ever think that we make life more complicated than it has to be?”

            He scoffs, eyes still on the ceiling, and points to himself.

            “Maybe you didn’t hear the alien part. Life _is_ complicated.”

            She chuckles and hangs her head back as well to see what’s so interesting about the dark overhead lights of the basement.

            “Why do you have to be one or the other? Alien or human? Why does it have to be so black and white?” Felicity murmurs.

            She hears Clark shift in his chair and turns her head to meet his gaze. The glasses almost seem to magnify the despondence.

            “Blurred lines lead to mistakes, and with what we do, if we have loved ones, we can’t afford mistakes,” he says.

            Felicity right away hears the “we” and she gives him a small smile. She then sways her chair back and forth and crosses her arms.

            “So you lead two lives…for how long?”  

            “’Til you pick one over the other or –” Clark stops.

            “’Til you die,” Felicity finishes for him.

 

 

            An hour later, Felicity walks into the Verdant’s entrance alley with her keys clenched tight in her hand. Every little rustle of the wind has been putting her on edge, especially in dark abandoned alleys. She surveys her surroundings and is about to enter the club when she hears a loud thump.

            With a yelp, Felicity whirls around to see a tall woman slumped over on the ground.

            “Laurel!” she says and rushes to her side.

            She nearly vomits when she sees a long arrow sticking out of her chest.

            “F’licity,” Laurel whispers when Felicity brushes the woman’s hair back from her pale face.

            “Shit,” she mumbles and hooks her arms underneath Laurel’s armpits. “Hang on, Laurel. Just hang on.”

            As gently and as quick as she can, she drags Laurel into the club and once she clears her feet from the doorway, Felicity shouts over her shoulder.

            “OLIVER! JOHN! HELP! Help me, please,” her cries turn into a whisper. Felicity lets go of her and scrambles around in her purse to find her phone. “You’re going to be okay.”

            “It hurts,” Laurel rasps, a tear sliding down her cheek. Before Felicity can say anything to comfort her, Oliver and Dig come bounding up the stairs. Once the Arrow takes in the scene, he sprints to them and she gets out of the way as he lifts Laurel up from the floor.

            “What happened?” he says as he carries her down to their lair.

            Felicity can’t stop her tears or her shaky voice as she says, “I-I don’t know. She fell out of nowhere right in front of Verdant.”

            She feels Dig’s hand on her arm but ignores him and Roy’s shocked face. Oliver gently places the woman onto the med table and turns around to his chest of medicine and herbs, while Dig takes Laurel’s pulse and peers closely at where the arrow meets her flesh.

            “We have to take her to the hospital. Y-you can’t help her here,” Felicity says. Then she looks down at Laurel, whose eyes are now closed. “Oliver, please.”

            Oliver makes his way back to the table.

            “Yes, I can. Call Sara,” he orders.

            Thankful that he’s tasked her with something, she lunges for her phone and dials the Canary. She steps away as the men crowd around Laurel, but winces a few seconds later when she hears a loud snap of an arrow.

            A pained gasp echoes inside the foundry.

            “Please pick up. Please pick up,” Felicity mutters.

            _Click._

            “Yeah?” Sara answers.

            Seized with relief, she nearly shouts into the phone, “You have to come. Laurel’s hurt. She’s been shot by an arrow.”

            The line is dead before Felicity can add, “It’s bad.”

 

 

            By the time Sara rushes in, Laurel’s under anesthesia and Oliver is cutting into her. With no words, Sara steps in and helps with the operation by handing him a tool that he’ll need next. Felicity, knowing that she is no longer needed, moves aside, her stomach still churning.

            Roy puts his arm around her shoulder when they finally lift the arrow out of Laurel’s body, and she gratefully hides her face into his red hoodie.

            “She’s fading,” Dig says as he rushes towards the crash cart.

            “Laurel, _don’t you dare_ ,” Sara whispers.

            Felicity watches as Dig shouts clear and as Laurel’s body jerk upward. For some reason, she thinks of Detective Lance, his gruff greetings on the phone, his tired sighs, and she feels for the first time that she has failed him – this man who gave up his life for the city.

            Roy squeezes her when Oliver yells, “She’s back! Her heart’s beating.”

            Felicity closes her eyes and sees Detective Lance smile.

 

 

            “I’m going to kill him,” Sara states as she stares down at her sister, who’s in deep sleep.

            Felicity glances at Oliver, almost expecting him to say his usual we’re-not-killing-anyone speech that he had to use so many times with Sara, but he closes his eyes.

            “Kill who? We don’t know who did this,” he says.

            Sara looks up at him as well and blinks.

            “When we find out, I _will_ kill them. I’m just letting you know now,” she says.

            Oliver breathes, “Sara.”

            “If you get in the way of that, I can’t promise that I won’t kill you too,” Sara replies.

            Dig immediately rises from his seat and Roy tenses, but Oliver just stands there, defeated. Felicity recognizes that look he has from when his mother died, but she focuses on Sara’s stiff stance.

            After a second of silence, Felicity strides towards the blonde woman and throws her arms around her. She can feel Sara’s stun as her body stiffens even more but then everything seems to crumple inwards and down.

            The sobs safely captured within Felicity’s arms, Sara clutches onto her friend’s dress as her body shakes.

            “Oh, Sara,” Felicity whispers.

 

 

            “It’s not the league. I don’t recognize this,” Sara says, rolling the broken arrow between her fingers.

            “Are you sure?” Oliver asks, his voice clipped.

            She nods and he lets out a frustrated breath.

            “There’s no serial number, no markings. No way to figure out where it came from.”

            Dig comes up from behind, stepping away from Laurel.

            “What about the type of wood? Is there anyway to figure out what it’s made out of?”

            Felicity grabs the arrow from Sara’s hand and walks over to her computer. She doesn’t have to look up to know that all of them are standing behind her, peering over her shoulder.

            She clicks and types as she scours the internet.

            “This isn’t wood. It’s carbon fiber with plastic, but the shaft… It looks different from anything on here,” Felicity murmurs as she scrolls through different images. The group gets quiet as they watch her work, but then Oliver speaks up.

            “You need to tell us what happened in Tibet.”

            Felicity freezes and slowly turns her chair to face Sara and Oliver.

            “That man. Do you think he had anything to do with it?” he asks the Canary.

            “Huck? No way. He’s in love with her. He’s also halfway around the world right now, helping his family get back on their feet,” Sara says, crossing her arms. “He didn’t do this. Trust me.”

            John clears his throat before asking, “How do you know?”

            She glares at him and replies, “He’s loyal to me. I took him under my wing when he first joined the league and he left when I left.”

            Oliver shakes his head. “What happened in Tibet, Sara?”

            Sara turns away to walk back towards her sister.

            “After I left Starling City, Ra’s al Ghul kept me locked up because I walked on him – I saw him do horrible things, things he needed kept secret, but he couldn’t kill me because of Nyssa. He lied to her, and she didn’t know where I was, what he was doing to me. Then,” Sara brushes her sister’s hair and smiles down at her, “she came. Laurel knew I was in trouble and ran into Huck in Lhasa. They worked together to find me, and once they did, he convinced other assassins to leave.”

            Oliver arches his eyebrow. “You revolted.”

            Sara chuckles, tears falling yet again. “I don’t know about that, but we got back to the States,” she sniffs and wipes her eyes, “Then we heard about what was going on in Gotham, and we saw you, Dig, on the news. So we went to Gotham to help.”

            “And that’s it?” Oliver asks.

            “That’s it.”

            “Maybe Ra’s al Ghul’s seeking revenge,” John adds.

            Sara shakes her head.

            “If he is, I will bring him down,” she says.

            Felicity doesn’t want to see Oliver bristle at this and turns back to her computers so that she can hunt for answers.

 

 

 

            Oliver and Felicity walk upstairs to the first floor of Verdant after Sara insists that she be left alone with her sister. He’s silent, his thoughts far off, but Felicity slips her hand into his anyway.

            “Please don’t blame yourself,” she says.

            “I’m not,” he responds, a bit cool to her liking, but her stomach relaxes when he squeezes her hand.

            “Good.”

            She wishes she has more to say for the first time in her life.

            He sighs and closes his eyes. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

            That’s right. With Sara in the foundry, and with Oliver’s mansion lost, he has no place to stay.

            “Of course,” she says.

            He leads her by the hand outside into the cool, crisp air until they get to his motorcycle. She takes the helmet from him and secures the chinstrap as Oliver gets on the bike. It takes some effort for her to climb aboard as well, but with his support she does, and her arms wrap around his waist. It scares her how natural that action feels now.

            The engine roars to life.

            She knows he would never do anything to put her in danger, but he swerves more harshly around corners than he usually does. The sharp braking and the great rush of acceleration almost make the bike seem like an angry, hungry beast.

            Felicity says nothing, but she rests her head on his back.

            The ride home feels more smooth and quiet after that.

 

 

            She hands him a cup of tea and settles onto her couch beside him.

            “You okay?” he asks quietly after looking down at the liquid for a moment.

            “I’ve had better nights. As in better nights in the foundry with you, as the Arrow. Not like better nights with you as Oliver Queen in my bed – I’m going to shut up now.”

            She spies a hint of a smile on his lips, and hesitantly puts her hand on the side of his face, barely touching his skin.

            “Sorry,” she whispers. His hand reaches up to hers.

            “Felicity.”

            “Mm?”

            “I can’t do this,” he whispers.

            She drops her hand and pulls back. “Can’t do what, Oliver?”

            “When I saw Laurel on that table, all I could do was think of all the times we’ve been on it – Dig, Roy, and me. How long before it’s someone else, like Sara or – you?”

            He stares at her with empty eyes.

            “Laurel is not dead. She’s alive. You’re alive, John and Roy are alive. And I’m here.”

            Oliver brings his hands up to rub his face.

            “For how long? With what we do, it’s a miracle that we’re all still standing, but it can’t last. Someone _will_ die. Most likely, it’ll be me, and I don’t want you to -,” he stops and breathes out, “Forget it. I’m sorry.”

            He stands up as if he’s about to leave but she grabs his arm.

            “No. Say it.”

            Oliver looks down at her for one long moment before he leans down to kiss her, soft and slow.

            When he pulls away, just millimeters away from her lips, he says, “There’s not going to be a happy ending, Felicity.” 

            She grabs his sweater and jerks him off balance so that he has to latch onto the back of the couch for support to keep him from collapsing on her.

            “Just shut up,” she whispers and captures his lips with hers.

 

 

            He holds her and kisses her on the top of her head. Felicity shifts and snuggles in closer to him, enjoying the warmth. The way he runs his fingers through her hair, grazing her scalp makes her eyes droop.

            “You should rest,” Oliver murmurs, leaning his head back on the couch.

            She shakes her head but closes her eyes. “Can’t. I’ve got QC stuff to work on, and Gordon asked me to reconfigure the software for the Justice League.”

            There’s a long silence and Felicity pushes herself up from Oliver to look at him. Judging by the lines on his forehead, she knows that he’s still thinking about their conversation.

            “Oliver, don’t.”

            “Don’t what?” he asks, his voice scratchy.

            “Stop worrying about me. About us,” she says.

            Oliver’s gaze only breaks when he lifts his eyes up to something beyond, but before she can check to see what he’s looking at, he comes back to her.

            “That’s never going to happen,” he replies quietly.

            Felicity glances down and chuckles somewhat humorlessly.

            “Yeah, same here.”

            When she feels him tuck his finger under her chin, she looks back at him and watches his Adam’s apple as he swallows.

            “If there’s anything you need – anything you want to talk about, I’m here.”

            She tilts her head and nods.

            “I know.”

            But he screws his eyes shut and when he opens them, she notices how bloodshot they are.

            “I mean it, Felicity. I- I need you to be okay,” he says.

            She frowns and her heart starts to thump at his meaningful gaze.

            He knows. He knows that she’s hiding something from him, but nothing about his tense stance tells her that he’s angry – just frustrated and…scared.

            “Oli-”

            Their watches beep and she has to keep from sighing in relief. Oliver’s resignation and scowl make her get up from the couch, biting her bottom lip. Before she can push down the transport button on her watch, he stands up as well and puts his hand over her watch gently.

            “Just tell me one thing.”

            She swallows.

            “Tell me you’re safe.”

            Felicity hopes to God that she’s not telling a lie and replies, “I’m safe.”

            Oliver nods and pulls his hand away. Unable to bear his gaze, she pushes the button.

 

 

            The stars shine through the windows but Felicity only sees the dark expanse of space that seems to stretch on for eternity.  She stares out into the cosmos but turns when she catches Oliver’s reflection through the glass. He’s in full gear, his shoulders stiff, and she glances at his uncovered lips.

            “Let’s go,” he says, his voice deep.

            They walk through the corridor until they reach the large circular metal doors and Felicity steps up to put her face to the panel. A red light scans her left pupil and she mutters, “This will always be weird.”

            The doors unlatch and slide apart to reveal the round main room with screens spread out above the controls. Batman and Superman stand behind Gordon who is flipping switches on the controls.

            “What’s going on?” Felicity asks as they make their way to their team members.

            “Didn’t you see the news?” Gordon asks.

            “Someone on our team was shot. We were busy,” Green Arrow replies in her stead.

            Superman and Gordon glance at each other before Gordon turns on a news clip. Felicity blinks when she sees a familiar globe atop a skyscraper but leans in when she realizes that there’s a large crack running through the fixture. A gasp escapes her lips.

            The reason for the crack is a long thick spear, impaling not just the globe itself, but a man in a dress suit.

            “W-who is it?” she stammers.

            Batman pauses the reel and replies, “The mayor of Metropolis.”

            Felicity looks to Clark, who stares at the Daily Planet building with a blank face.

            “They know,” he says, without breaking away from the news.

            “That’s not all,” Gordon says darkly. She flips to another screen and there’s a grainy image of a large lamp.

            “What is that?” Oliver asks, stepping closer.

            “Is – is that the Bat signal?” Felicity breathes but then brings her hands to her mouth. Another man is slouched over underneath with a precise hole in the middle of his forehead. “The new Senator from Gotham. He’s a shoo-in for President. _Was._ What the hell is going on?”

            Gordon swivels her chair to face Oliver.

            “You said someone on your team was shot. Was it Laurel Lance?”

            Green Arrow tenses while the thoughts whirl around like a hurricane in Felicity’s head.  Laurel, soon to be district attorney, known ally of the Arrow, shot with an arrow, falling from out of nowhere in front of their lair – in front of the abandoned club.

            “What are you saying?” Oliver snarls.

            “Someone’s declaring war on the Justice League,” Batman replies, his eyes narrowing through the slits of his cowl.

            Her knees go weak and Felicity plops into the nearest chair.

            “Shit.”

            “Shit is right,” Gordon responds.

 

 

            “What about the explosion? Is it connected to all of this?” Oliver mutters as he paces behind Felicity as she furiously does a background check on all of Laurel’s coworkers and acquaintances on her kitchen table. “It doesn’t make sense.”

            She stops.

            “Oliver – ”

            “We’ll tell the team tomorrow. Let them rest for now,” he interrupts, rubbing his beard, lines deepening on his forehead. “You should get some rest too. You haven’t slept in days.”

            She shakes her head, her gut still aching.

            “What about you?”

            Oliver stops pacing and comes up to her. He sweeps away her hair and grazes her cheek.

            “I’m sorry. I need to think. Get some air,” he says softly.

            Felicity croaks, “’Kay. Be careful.”

            With a nod, he turns and leaves her apartment, the door closing with a quiet click. Her mouth feels dry as she grabs her laptop and lugs it back into the living room. She curls up on the couch with the warm machine on her lap and she keeps at it for another hour, searching through all personnel in the district attorney’s office.

            Her eyes start to droop again and she jerks herself awake, her laptop almost flying out onto the floor. Felicity grabs it and swears when she realizes that the movement forced her browsers to close.

            She lets out a small breath when she sees her desktop picture. It’s a hazy and filtered picture of the trio – her, Diggle, and Oliver. In John’s arms is his baby daughter all bundled up in pink. The soft hues of the filter accentuate the joy that Roy was able to capture on all of their faces.

            Felicity smiles as she gently touches her screen, first John and his baby, and then Oliver. Then the smile disappears as she blinks, her index finger veering towards the right where her files are all organized. One icon that she doesn’t recognize sits away from the rest and she gulps as she reads the file name.

            _For you._

            Her heart beats a little faster, but she clicks on the icon anyway causing her media player to pop up.

            The blood drains out of her face as Felicity stares at her father’s green eyes peering back at her. But he’s not the haggard man that she held in her arms just a few months ago. He’s younger, more clean cut and –

            “Daddy!”

            “No,” Felicity whispers when a little girl appears from behind Darren Smoak with a book in her hands.

            Her father pays the girl no attention. His pupils dart back and forth and she knows he’s reading something on his screen.

            “Daddy, you said you would read to me,” the girl whines, tugging on his sweater.

            “Not now, sweetie,” he says. The shock wearing off somewhat, Felicity leans in to notice his breathing – a little short as if panic was starting to set in.

            “But –”

            “Felicity! I said, not now,” Darren snaps.

            She desperately tries to dig through her memory but she can’t recall this particular instance of her father being short with her although the hacker knows that it most likely occurred a little before he left her and her mother.

            “What the hell?” she croaks but freezes when she hears another voice off screen.

            “What is the matter with you?” a woman asks.

            Darren’s eyes widen as if he can see the older Felicity through the screen and jumps up from his chair. She tightens her grip on her laptop, only able to see the midriff of her father and a girl with mousy brown hair trying to catch a glimpse of her father’s computer screen. 

            “I have to go,” he says in a rush, nearly bumping into Felicity.

            “Darren, you’ve been acting crazy for the last – where are you going?” her mother asks, her voice high with anger.

            Her father doesn’t answer his wife and Felicity can hear the loud thud of a door. After a quiet moment, Margaret sniffs off screen and clears her throat.

            “Come on, Felicity. Get into bed. I’ll read you a story.”

            Felicity’s throat closes up when the girl stares directly into the web camera, therefore staring back at her. Then the three year old casts her eyes down and turns away, disappearing from the screen.

            An empty chair sits for 1.4 seconds until the clip blacks out as it ends. The media player minimizes into its regular size and Oliver’s face is back again, with his quiet smile.

            The sudden chill doesn’t even faze her when the realization dawns that with her firewalls and her own personal security settings, there’s no way that someone added the video to her files remotely.

            Whoever did this was in her apartment.

            Felicity slowly gets up and locks her door.

 

          

 


End file.
